I saw someone get attacked by a group of mimes yesterday
I saw someone get attacked by a group of mimes yesterday
they were dong unspeakable things to the victim.
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I started watching a new TV show about fishing last night…..
I started watching a new TV show about fishing last night.....
I'm already hooked!
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My dad was looking a little discombobulated, so I asked him,...
My dad was looking a little discombobulated, so I asked him, "Hey pop, you alright?"
I knew he had snapped back to reality, at least...
How do chicken farmers count their eggs?
How do chicken farmers count their eggs?
With an eggsel spreadsheet.
My Wife lost the race to Sister Mary Francis
My Wife lost the race to Sister Mary Francis
Apparently, she was second to nun.
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Why does the Norway navy have bar codes on the side...
Why does the Norway navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?
So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian. ...
My wife was reading an article about baby massages
My wife was reading an article about baby massages
Me: Do you think they work? Her: I'm not sure. Me: I don't think their fingers...
“Hey, Watson, why are you taking Ex-Lax?”
“Hey, Watson, why are you taking Ex-Lax?”
No shit, Sherlock.
What do we want?! Low flying airplanes! When do we want...
What do we want?! Low flying airplanes! When do we want them?!?
NEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!
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41563241 Lenovo V330 Notebook PC - 7th Gen Intel Core i5-7200U 2.5GHz CPU, 8GB DDR4, 1TB HDD, DVDRW, 15.6" LED 1366 x 768, HD Graphics 620, USB-C, HDMI, B.T, Win 10 Pro 64-Bit - 81AX00H6US-MB
I took the r out of Sprite, just for spite!
I took the r out of Sprite, just for spite!
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I tried to keep my dream alive.
I tried to keep my dream alive.
Unfortunately, the snooze button was hard to reach.
I was troubleshooting today.
I was troubleshooting today.
Unfortunately trouble turned out to be a better shot.
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I’ve been named the patron saint of Chipotle…
I've been named the patron saint of Chipotle...
Call me Guaca-holy.
I was recently asked to review a book on dreams…
I was recently asked to review a book on dreams...
...it was a real snoozefest.
While ordering butter chicken at a local restaurant, I asked if...
While ordering butter chicken at a local restaurant, I asked if they had any pita
....they had Nhan
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Dad, can we have ice-cream???
Dad, can we have ice-cream???
Sorry kids, the truck only rings the chimes when he has none left.
What noise does a 747 make when it bounces?
What noise does a 747 make when it bounces?
Boeing, Boeing, Boeing.
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