Saturday, December 7, 2019
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Why did the old man fall in the well?

Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well. #dadjokes
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How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?

How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer? Because she can clean her crack and sell it again. #dadjokes

Crime…

Crime... Police Officer: What do you remember about the midget who attacked you?Victim: Very little. #dadjokes

I was extremely drunk when I gave away all my money….

I was extremely drunk when I gave away all my money.... Guess I'm in the most generous of spirits when the spirits are generous....

I used to have a pet leech…

I used to have a pet leech... It was attached to me. #dadjokes
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I have a phobia of overengineered buildings.

I have a phobia of overengineered buildings. I have a complex complex complex

As I watched the dog chasing his tail, I thought, “Dogs...

As I watched the dog chasing his tail, I thought, “Dogs sure are easily amused!”... ...then I realized I was watching the dog chasing...

“Hey, Watson, why are you taking Ex-Lax?”

“Hey, Watson, why are you taking Ex-Lax?” No shit, Sherlock.

The thermos

The thermos A guy (MAN A) walks into a diner, sits down, and pulls a thermos from his backpack. Across the room, a man...
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Face is a four letter word…

Face is a four letter word… But preface is a foreword letter… #dadjokes

A Tight-fisted Soldier.

A Tight-fisted Soldier. Two pals were strolling through a military graveyard to pay their respect to fallen heroes. They came across a peculiar gravestone...

Wife to Husband: “How would you describe me?”

Wife to Husband: "How would you describe me?" Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable, beautiful,...

X-post from r/jokes: A woman walks by a clothes shop, and...

X-post from r/jokes: A woman walks by a clothes shop, and spots a nice red dress in the window. She goes inside to inquire:Woman:...
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Why do all hotdogs look the same?

Why do all hotdogs look the same? Because they are in bread.

How was the master thief able to steal the woman’s skeleton?

How was the master thief able to steal the woman's skeleton? She had combination skin #dadjokes

Someone asked me how electricity is measured.

Someone asked me how electricity is measured. I was like... Watt? #dadjokes

In a Catholic school cafeteria,…

In a Catholic school cafeteria,... In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take...
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Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke? Joke joke...

Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke? Joke joke jooooke. Joke joke jooooooooooooke! #dadjokes

I hate those new parents who do all that baby talk…

I hate those new parents who do all that baby talk... Yes I do! Yes I do! #dadjokes

A young boy is pulling his wagon up a hill when...

A young boy is pulling his wagon up a hill when one of the back wheels falls off and rolls down the hill. The...

Accordion to a recent survey…

Accordion to a recent survey... ...replacing words with musical instruments in a sentence often confuses readers. #dadjokes

When you kiss your honey, and your nose is kind of...

When you kiss your honey, and your nose is kind of runny, you may think it's funny, but it's not. Snot

What do you call a court justice skilled in martial arts?

What do you call a court justice skilled in martial arts? Judge Judo! #dadjokes

Blondes & Computers

Blondes & Computers Q: How are blondes and computers similar?A: You never appreciate them until they go down on you. #dadjokes

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