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What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? “Curses! Foil again!” #dadjokes
My ten-month-old was sitting in her high chair, twisting and moving all over the place... My wife said to me, “Straighten her up.”I looked...
A man was caught stealing in a supermarket today... ...while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires.He was charged with shoplifting on...
I've just made a meeting site for retired chemists It's called Carbon Dating #dadjokes
What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird. #dadjokes
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What fruit do Romeo and Juliet eat? Cantelope #dadjokes
Book, you look so much thinner! I know! I had my appendix removed! #dadjokes
My dental hygienist retired after working 55 years... All she got was a lousy plaque... #dadjokes
One time we ran out of soap- -so we had to use hand sanitizer!!! #dadjokes
Breaking news! Energizer Bunny arrested... ...charged with battery. #dadjokes
My old roommate's bathroom was so dirty- -I had to clean the soap before using it. (Seriously.) #dadjokes
Did you know that it's traditional to serve Eggs Benedict on a hubcap? There's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise. #dadjokes
What do you call a number that can’t keep still? A roamin’ numeral. #dadjokes
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What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? "Look grandpa, no hands!" #dadjokes
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line. #dadjokes
Never play poker with a pieces of paper. They're bound to fold. #dadjokes